Doing Something Good

I really like that whole "you should try to do one good thing everyday." Well I mean you should try to do as many as you can, but you should do at LEAST one.

Today I went to fill up my car with gas and when I was pumping gas, this homeless lady walks up to me and asks me if I have any spare change. I think the natural reaction for most people is to say "No, sorry", even if you do have change. In this case, I actually didn't have any change. And even if I did I probably would've said the same thing. So I told her, "No, I'm sorry", and she walks away. And like all the other times that this has happened, I feel super bad, because then I have to see her rummaging through a garbage can searching for recyclables or anything she can use to sustain herself. I filled up my gas tank and I had change left over from what I paid originally, so I went back inside to the cashier to get my change of a few dollars. I came back outside and found the woman from before, and I hand her the money saying "Take care of yourself." I felt kind of stupid saying that because I'm giving her a few dollars and it makes it seem like I expect her to do a whole lot with it when you can't really. She accepted the gift said "God bless you", looked up at the sky and made the sign of the cross. (It's that whole hand gesture thing with "In the name of the father, son, holy spirit, Amen") I went back into my car and I sat there for a minute or two and I was like...

Damn.

What sucks is that when I give homeless people money, I end up feeling so bad. So bad for all the things I have and all the things I don't appreciate. I end up thinking of how lucky I am and all that other crap. When I don't give some homeless person money, I feel bad for maybe 10 minutes, and that feeling goes away and I forget about it. I mean, sure, I felt nice for doing a good deed, but it really hurt me to know how stupid, selfish, and all that bad crap that I am. And that a lot of us are. Maybe that's the point of doing something good. To better yourself as a person and to help those around you become better people.

This woman thanked God for every dollar she had. Any sort of gift was a blessing to her. I wish we could all have that sort of approach/personality. I mean for all you non-religious folk you don't have to thank God and all of that stuff, but just be truly thankful and appreciate every blessing that you have in your life.

So as I sat in the car thinking about all of that, I started tearing up. No, I did not cry. I just had some sort of wetness in my eyeballs. I must've had some dust in there or something. And just now, I realize that...

She was my blessing. Having her approach me was her good deed of the day. What I gave her was to help her, but more so, help myself. Help myself continue to try to somehow achieve this state of mind. It's times like these when my faith gets so much stronger. I was having a pretty crappy day and this comes and turns it all around. It's times like these when I wonder "how can you not believe that there's some sort of higher power out there?"

My parents are coming home really late today. My sister's moving out for the end of her college school year. Senior year is almost over, Prom is coming up. Our Senior Picnic is coming up. I'm going to miss all of my friends. But I don't want to talk about it yet because there's no point in getting so emotional too early. (or at least before graduation haha)

Oh boy. I Google searched "Why are girls so complicated?" today. It was freaking awesome. The search results didn't really give me the answer I was looking for, but some of the answers sure made me laugh.

-You think girls are complicated? Wait until they turn into full-fledged women.

-Got dumped? She's ignoring you? Signals crossed? Won't talk? Yeah, all the classics...get used to it.

-because they want so much!!!!

-Who ever said it was just Girls? People in general are complicated, some people know how to hide it better, is all. People are, by nature, complex. Each person's life and experience makes them an entirely unique person, full of their own fears, hopes, and dreams. And if you want to understand a person and be close to them, you have to commit alot of time and effort to really knowing them for who they are.
(this one actually made sense haha)

-We like to give boys something to think about :)

-because they don't come with a manual

-HaHaHa! It is their purpose in life. That way it keeps us guys on our toes and we get to exercise that muscle between our ears.:)

-Because we're from Venus!





Yeah, some of those were pretty hilarious I think. Anyways, sometimes life gets really complicated. But what else is new? Girls should just spill all their beans and tell us everything that's going on in their heads...

But then again...

That'd take an eternity.

Until next time...

The End.